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Sunday, August 28, 2011

Hot pockets!

I have had several experiences in my life that have lead me to this next post. First i would like to discuss the microwave oven. In my opinion this device is the most underrated modern marvel we have. Sure we have telephones that surf the web and broadcast TV shows, But the microwave can cook popcorn in like 160 seconds! We often cook a frozen burrito or hot pocket in the oven which to me seems to defy the laws of thermal dynamics. It takes only 90 seconds to heat a hot pocket from a frozen mass to a molten pit of heat that blacksmiths could use to forge steel. And yet it takes forever to cool. But with this great ability comes great responsibility. And it is to this responsibility i would like to address. Perhaps it is the commonplace of the microwave or the fact that your parents let you use it when ever you liked at any age. But i warn you the power of this device is anything but common. It takes lots of practice and skill to microwave a meal and be able to eat it with out suffering burns. Just like one does not just simply walk into Mordor, so also one does not casually use a microwave. You see to properly wield this device you have to couple power with patience. Patience is the key, but surprisingly it is required of a device that cooks so quickly! I can vision my future self finally understanding the microwave oven and having the patience to not burn my mouth, but until then this has been my tragic experience. I have made the following graph to help illustrate the perils of using a microwave.

It is interesting to me that the most dangerous food to cook in the microwave (Hot Pockets) require the most patience are marketed to the people with the least amount of patience. Please share your experiences good or bad while using a microwave oven.